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User blog:Stevesbeans/Epic Rap Battles Of Fiction: John Cena Vs Hiroshi Tanahashi
Welcome to the first edition of my new series. I've already posted this on here before but figured it needed a new look, restructured lines and an actual planned season after it. The connefction is both Cena and Tanahashi are the aces of their respective companies that carried their promotions on their back for years. Both sustained many injurys because of it. They also have the same basic character of "Good guy who does stuff right." Without further ado, let's get into it. ''Battle: Epic Rap Battles Of Fiction!! John Cena: Break through you word-by-word, like Triple H with a sledge! 16X times and counting, you know I’ve got that winning Edge! Got the best flow, a G, no doubt, certified! A cash cow for Vince, became Modern Wrestlings Prototype! Treating this like Montreal, only this time you’re the one who’s screwed! You know there’s a problem when your “mini”-me is bigger than you! I’ve got this business on the brain, have straight up wrestling mania! Don’t step to the champ son, I’ll break you like a macadamia! Run through Taguchi, then put down that washed up Hippie! Summerslam you and your whole group, no surviving this series! You trash on the mic and make as much sense as a Russo Swerve! Forgot it, this battle’s already over! 501 Make a wish kids served. Hiroshi Tanahashi: '' Tanahashi open challenge! This posers spot is vacant! I want to face a wrestler, not some bullshit “sports entertainment” I don’t need any assistance, hitting lyrics with precision! Step back “champ”, you’ve entered Tanahashis dominon! I put the a c e in ace, not just any Joe Scmoe! Slining verbal blades of rap, with high fly flow! Compare yourself to me, you’re nothing but a jobber! Leave you disregarded in the ring, stripped of any shred of honour! I know you like to think you’re this kind of heroic successor but I see through you, no need for any stupid hand gesture! Time Split your nose back open! You’ll need another reconstruction! I’m ruthless on the mic! Spewing verbal destruction! Me Vs. You, this isn’t even a fight! Rhymes exploding like dynamite! Heh, It seems Supercenas meet his kryptonite! ''John Cena: Fine Speech. But you chose the wrong guy to pursue! You’ve made this brawl personal, So I guess I’ll have to adjust my attitude! Got flow strong enough to back break you, tilt a whirl! Rhymes cutting you like a knife from your side girl! Disses brazen like the Rock, and you know there what I’m cooking! You’re not winning this battle, even without Inokis booking! And I know you ain’t the brightest, so let me summarise! I bleed, sweat and fought for this business and I’m John Cena son, recognize! Hiroshi Tanahashi: '' The only thing I recognize is that you don’t have any depth! And I bet it’s hard to bleed for the biz when you’re on your movie sets! Dragon suplex you over and over, render you OBSOLETE and unemployed! Then make my own make-a-wish foundation, from all the carers you’ve destroyed! I run on high energy, always prevail against opposition! I’m a 7x heavyweight champ, you belong in the JR. Divison! Try to be a hero to kids but, deep down, you’re the villian! Just like Scrull! You can’t best me even with the odds in your favour: TANAWINSLOL! ''John Cena'' : You may have the deck stacked in your favour, but don’t think I’m outshone! I’ll put you down yet , but I won’t do it alone! See, I’m introducing my tag team partner, we’ll beat you until your sore! Oh, here he comes, a real snake for sure! 'Randy Orton (Team Cena) : Cena may have softened you up! But I’ll deliver the deathblow! You won’t see it coming till your tasting RKO! Just like Jake Roberts, you know I don’t play! But I’ll send you to the mid card harder than I did to Bray! With Tanas success, some say he started the divas revolution but I’ll punt his head clean off like a gullitone Execution! Dismantle you like Foley, put you through barbered wire! I’m flowing with rhymes hotter than Kanes hellfire! Get up and leave this battle, make like CM Punk and beat it! Because if you cross the viper, you’ll last about as long as he did! ''Hiroshi Tanahashi: '' Seems this snakes venoms all dried up, wow, now that’s a shame! Still, you may have turned this into a double team but two can play at that game! And I still spit this smoothly, as I give away control! To this rising star of Puresou, my ace-in-hole! 'Kazuchika Okada (Team Tana) :' It’s time to make it rain, yeah, I’m cashing those cheques! A true face of the company, unlike your Samoan wreck! Not even Vince himself can halt this invasion, all fall to my attack! Slickest wrestler in the ring, spit verbal chaos on the track! Your whole company's a slave to advertisers, afraid of all taboo! Your just a snivelling snake, even Yanos more formidable than you! Burn you so hard, you’ll feel it across all three generations! And unlike Osperey, I specialise in verbal assassination! The best superstar in all of wrestling, Meltzer can attest! And I’ll leave you more disgraced than a failed piss test! '''''Seth Rollins (Team Cena): Can’t keep me out of this! Trips’s true prodigy has returned! Gonna leave you broke, beat and stomped out on the curb! Even hobbling on one knee, I could still outdo you! Beating rainmaker until he bleeds Tyler Black and Blue I’m the industry's undisputed future and it’s not up for debate! Taking on everyone in my way, you’re a glorified cruiserweight! A kingslayer! Moves hit faster than my rhymes in this spat! Just one knee to the face, you’re seeing stars on the mat You act like your gods last gift, but in reality your not! Plus, I think your ducking someone! Where’s Ishiis title shot? ''Tetsuya Naito (Team Tana): Sure by little girl standards you may be a superhero! But you should’ve thought twice before stepping to someone this TRANQUILLO! Better to step down now, the stardust genius has spoken! One destino to the ground, leave your cold skull cracked open! You’re a zero Seth, and I’m not talking Pentagons! No way for you to SHIELD yourself from my verbal time bombs! Don’t even try to censor me! Got no limit on the words that I spit! You like an unpure, mangy dog! Maybe that’s why your pedigrees shit! Get all the pity reigns you want, man, you’ll never measure up to me! Face it Seth, you blew this battle like it was your knee! John Cena: Well, I think, AHHH!.... (Cena is attacked off screen and we here a diffrent voice start rapping) You thought I would let that boy scout rap, think again! Cause there’s no way in hell I’mma let you guys win! I’m a star wherever I go from company to company! I’m not stale on the mic, in fact I spit it phenomenally AJ Styles: Clashing styles together, shattering your pointless factions! Cause when AJ makes an Impact in the Zone it’s total nonstop action! Straight up wrestling royalty! Can’t match my triple crown! Spitting it aggressively and ruthlessly, verbal Smackdown! Tana steps up to bat. Swings, and he misses! Calf crush you with my rhymes, leave you Am-bruised from my disses! Just ask Ring of Honour, I’m pure! Offense innovatory! Face that runs the place in my first year, You know I’m bound for glory! While Naito’s tranquillo now, His main event couldn’t get traction! Why are you even trying to fight, I made your greatest faction (We pan over to Tanahashi which also fades to black. Another voice starts rapping) Well, well, well….Looks like someone V-triggerd! Cause when it comes to dropping beats...I’m both alpha and omega! Kenny Omega: When it comes to throwing lyrics I drop sick bars! But when it’s in the ring, man, I’m rocking 6-stars! Cornerstone of Japan! My fames uncontrolled! Because when it comes to accomplishments, I’m showered in gold! We’re putting on the A-Class, your fighting over yards! Playing you like some DDT cards! On the mic and in the ring, ya know I’m 2 sweet. Racking in those bucks, Pro wrestling's elite! Bullet Club leader, could shoot down your universe. Cause the cleaner, is going clean up your sorry excuse for a verse! AJ Styles: Sit down junior! Your delirious if you think that you’re a threat! But my hate for you is only rivalled by Cornnete! You may get 6 stars, but who’s taking Meltzers Poll? Your ego’s more inflated then that god damn blow up doll! I’m the greatest of all time, travelling round the world! You’ve already meet your match when you fought that little girl! Like Karl Anderson, don't you know? I’ll leave you stunned! For all your fame and accomplishments, you can’t get the job done! And all you do, is spam the same fucking knee! The only reason your still in this business is cause of me! I know you like to talk but listen here bud! Doesn't matter what you do, you can never measure up! Kenny Omega: Dropping Dr Willy Bombs! Spin you like a hurricanrana! You’ve got the pro wrestling skill of a gorilla, and I’m not talking ‘bout Tonga! Gonna call some assistance and it could be the Elite, but…nah, I’ll pass it over to the golden star! Man Ibushi drop the beat! 'The Golden Lovers (Kenny in Normal, '''Ibushi in ''Italics, Bold For Simulatenous): '' Your time is up, take you off the shelf like some Y2AJ Shirts! It’s the ace of DDT, lighting you up like some fireworks! While you spend your time crashing and bashing gay community’s! We make matches so good, they match Ambrose in Lunacy! You’re a braindead, washed up loser not unakin to Ellsworth! It seems neither of you can take it on the chin! We’re the greatest, so we won’t bother! Skip the wisecracks! ''Goodbye and goodnight and '''I’m winning the G1 Climax' What? No I’m winning it! Stop copying me! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Omega and Ibushi charge each other but it fades out before we see them collide.) ___________________________________________ Who Won? Who's Next? You'll See! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF (GO ACE) FICTION! Who Won? John Cena (W/Randy Orton, Seth Rollins and AJ Styles) Hiroshi Tanahshi (W/Kazuchika Okada, Tetsuya Naito and Kenny Omega) Category:Blog posts